Relationship counseling, couples counseling, couples therapy, marriage counseling, no matter by what name we call it, can be of great help to couples wanting to improve their relationships, increase communication, deepen intimacy and connection, learn new skills, gain clarity, understanding and trust.
Relationship Counseling Improves Relationships
People tend to go in and out of relationships when things get tough. It is natural even in the greatest relationship to hit a period where communication and intimacy just aren’t working. Many partners begin to feel hopeless, some close down, others begin to look elsewhere. A good couples therapist can provide a safe place to find clarity, open up understanding and communication. No matter how bad things have gotten, no matter how much arguing and separation, trust and love can be restored, if both parties are willing to show up in a counseling session together.
Begins with Self
All relationship begins with Self. Without a good relationship with one’s self, it is difficult to have a deep, healthy relationship with another person. Sometimes I see people separately in individual counseling before we begin couples counseling. Many relationships can be improved by seeing only one person. Each individual and couple is unique, we discover together what will work best.
I work with love partners of all orientations. All relationships have the same foundation and need of love, joy, connection, support, safety, trust, security, respect, good communication, and healthy boundaries.
Marriage and Family
I enjoy working with couples. People come to me with all sorts of issues, though underneath everything is a desire for a better relationship. People want a more loving relationship and a greater connection with their partner, as well as their children, in-laws and relatives. Children can be very negatively affected by parents who are not happy and not getting along. When couples resolve long standing disagreements and learn to communicate well, their children benefit greatly.
Intimacy and Sex
Underlying the focus and tension in many relationships are issues of intimacy and sex. Creating a safe, comfortable space where everyone can trust being fully heard and expressed is tremendously important. It takes a lot of sensitivity and care, sometimes good humor, to bring couples close together again. The result is greater intimacy and satisfaction, experienced by the couples I see in therapy.
Conscious communication skills help everyone to be heard and understood. I think this is one of the greatest gifts I give to individuals and couples during relationship counseling: teaching simple, effective, good communication skills. Good communication skills are often lacking and the cause of so many disagreements, separation and hurt. Learning to really listen and empathize with one another is the key.
Here we have the most important factor in healing relationships and the key to effective relationship counseling: helping each partner know, sense, feel and express their feelings, in an emotionally safe environment. Learning to become vulnerable, sharing vulnerabilities, and empathizing with each others vulnerabilities is the single most important factor that creates and sustains healthy relationships. This is where the magic happens. When the defenses come down and hearts open; love and strong bonds return, and life becomes so much easier and more fulfilling.
Some Signs You Should See A Relationship Counselor
- When there are on-going arguments
- Talking together is not happening or is often negative
- There is little to no affection or intimacy
- Secrets are being kept from each other
- Someone is having an affair or thinking about it
- You feel abused or degraded
- You are unhappy in your relationship but fear change, or are afraid to communicate your feelings to your partner
Are You Ready?
I realize it can be scary. Many people feel it is a failure to go to couples counseling: “We should be able to do it on our own without relationship counseling.” Or, “Couples therapy is for people on the verge of divorce.” These kinds of statements are common. Though really, if we could all do it on our own, why are so many people unhappy and experiencing stress in their relationships? To allow it to go on is very unfair to ourselves, our partners, and our children.
Where did we learn how to have great relationships? By trial and error? Most of us were taught by the experiences and examples we grew up with. Most of us end up one day in situations that are painful and confusing and we don’t understand why. Relationship counseling is a place to learn and to grow. It is a great gift to give yourself and your partner.
Whether you are early in a relationship, seriously dating, or already married, there are numerous benefits to participating in relationship counseling with your partner. And if he or she won’t go, you should go by yourself. Individually or as a couple, there are numerous benefits to increasing your capacity for greater connection, communication, intimacy and love.
There are trained and gifted couple therapists and counselors that can help you create a more fulfilling life. Contact one today, you will likely end up feeling really happy that you did.
Visit my contact page and no longer settle for anything less than a truly great, fulfilling relationship.
Wishing you happiness and love,